Engaging young people in advocacy, education & prevention
Creating social change around alcohol, drugs, and more

Where did it all start?

February 1, 2013 6:00 am Published by Leave your thoughts

Glow Sticks 8-11-2010

This post was written by a Ventura County high school student.

The temptation for youth to experiment has always existed, and the destruction it has caused is likely to be ignored. Teens often hide the bad with the wonders of a drug.

I have seen both sides of it, seen someone having the time of their life dancing and lost in the wonders of it all, and the blank stare of a girl, long lost from it all, who took one too many. Many of my decisions I regret, and maybe by sharing my story, someone won’t repeat my mistakes.

Winter land, my second rave, a mix of drugs, music, and excitement, and one of the most unique and interesting experiences in my life. Surrounded by a variety of people on a variety of drugs.  My memories of the night are a blur of lightshows, dancing, and people desperately wanting E, it was a wonder that many couldn’t resist. The part that most fascinated me, was during a lightshow my fingers would cramp, making my fingers twist to the center of my palm, and without a single feeling of pain I could unwind the fingers with some intense concentration. This was something I never felt before. I could not stop moving or talking, the feeling was amazing but terrifying, as I realized why people could get addicted to this stuff so easily. I ran around the room, talking to anyone with ease, I was social, funny, didn’t care, it was intense. The other wonder of the drug, was I had no attraction to girls, I felt no need to try to dance to them, and I talked to them purely to be social.

I recall the few minutes when the music was shut down and everyone waited, as a girl who overdosed was pulled from the girls’ restroom by the police, and throughout the night my friend spent a good part of the night vomiting and then returned to the dance, he didn’t seem as happy as I usually remembered him. As my other friend slowly destroyed his brain more with the drugs that has ruined him, once such a nice guy, and now he is a jerk unless he was high.  I was unable to stop moving, it was a feeling I loved, and also hated, but luckily, the urge for it again was one that died quickly.

The days carried on and then I arrived at my 3rd rave, A local one at Ventura theater called bliss. This one was much less fun, the drugs were not as intense; the dancing was not as fun, the people seemed ruder, it wasn’t nearly as enjoyable, my body was tired, resisted the movements I craved. I didn’t feel free; I just felt exhausted and held down. I wasn’t talking as much, not doing everything I pleased.  It wasn’t how I wanted it, it was fun at the time, but later I realized it was nowhere near worth it all. The next 24 hours I couldn’t sleep, the first time from this drug I had no trouble, but this time I simply couldn’t, eyes closed for 2 hours straight, absolutely nothing.

I spent the entire night in my friend’s garage holding myself trying not to think bad thoughts, keeping my grip on life, completely exhausted yet not being able to sleep, having to hold it all in, no one to talk to, slowly going crazy. I thought horrible things, and did anything I could with the energy I had to forget it. Eventually the next day I passed out, slowly over the next few days, I recovered, on sleep and energy. I wondered if some simple pills could hit so hard, what could hard street drugs do to you, how could they destroy you, completely ruin the life that you used to possess, I saw how these drugged up kids ruin their chance, I wonder where it all started for them, where it started to go downhill.