By Olivea Herrera, one of our Young Adult Guest Bloggers
I learned many things throughout high school, and all the way up until graduation. School in itself taught me to keep composure when the system was failing its students. It taught me to be even stronger when they didn’t do anything about things that really upset the students. Yet, that is not the topic. It could be a topic for a different time, but I might as well start with:
Every person fresh out of middle school has to deal with the transition of going to high school. Of making a new friend group, dealing with the new curriculum, and getting used to the new energy of the school entirely. This person was the first of many real friends I started to make once high school started.
Everything seemed great. She introduced me to more people, was nice, gave me attention, and was overall a great person to be around. I never realized while I was in that friendship that I had to walk on eggshells to not upset her over the littlest things. I was perfectly content in my own delusion until I wasn’t. Towards the end of the friendship I realized this more and more. Being the person I was, I continued with that friendship until the end went from bad to worse.
It was heartbreaking to me, but probably the best thing that could have happened. The longer I was out of that friendship, the more I realized how much was wrong with it. I became the person I was always meant to be without her hindering me. Though I talk bad about the friendship, I will always remember the good times and the things I learned from it. I learned how strong of a person I was and continue to be, how to put my mental health in front of hurting others’ feelings (though I still had much more to absorb later on about that), and how much I have grown from the person I once was.
It hurts to hurt. Meaning, it hurts to hurt other people for your own benefit when you think there is a way to avoid all of that. Mental health does not only affect your mood, but your physical body. You have to put yourself first sometimes if the situation calls for it. You have to care enough about yourself to get out of the situation that put your health at risk. I know because I have had to do that many times before. But chances are 1 in 4 trillion of you being born, and what is the point of living if you are wasting that chance on putting others before your own health? My friend was not the person that made me realize this, but she did make me grow to be a person to realize this. She did what I should have done, but didn’t have the nerve to do. So thank you to that person because I do believe you were in my life for a reason.
In this excerpt I will not be talking about one person, but many. I like to be a positive person. I have been through periods of sadness and hopelessness, so this positive attitude was not always the case. I had to learn and go through trials and tribulations that I thought would never end. I have had to go through the worst mental health states in my life to get to the best.
I have also had many friends come to me about suicide. They have all been serious issues that I tried my best to help with, but at 16 years old, I never took into account how I felt. I always wanted to help the person no matter the cost, because I believe that is the right thing to do. I tried everything I could, but I always thought of something else. I always thought it wasn’t enough if I didn’t try my absolute hardest. So much so that I would have withered myself down into a human I used to be, into just existing rather than living.
The older I’ve become, the more I have learned how to handle such severe issues. I have had to learn how to be comfortable with the advice I have given and how to separate other people’s lives from affecting my own. I know how hard this is and I am still processing how to deal with this, but it is necessary for my own mental health. Being surrounded by these situations has made me stronger and wiser, and helped me learn how to take care of myself while helping other people at the same time.
People question why bad things happen to good people or why bad things happen entirely. I believe they happen partly so we can learn from them and grow, and use what we learned for the future. We all have to go through hard things during our life, but the true testament is to live through these things and come out the other side stronger and wiser. Because there is a reason for everything that happens.
The Truest Friends of All
Though the most trying of times in your life can be the ones that are spent in school, there are many people along the way. People to tear your soul apart or lift your heart to the Sun when it has seen nothing but bleak darkness. I can guarantee that every person in their lifetime will find their people. There are 7.5 billion people on the earth, and there are bound to be a select few for every person.
I have come across a rainbow of personalities in my 18 years of life. Some cruel, some bizarre, some overly nice. Though there are sporadic differences in every person, there are the true. The loyal people who stay by your side for the best of times and the worst. I have cried my way through fakes and been manipulated through the disingenuous all to find what has been waiting for me this whole time.
Soulmates are not only for romance, but can be the soul that is the same as yours. Your soulmate truly understands what you have been through. They believe that judgement is not what is meant to be. They are the ones to laugh at happy times, to cry at sad times, and to be the human that you need by your side. The true friends of mine have taught me these lessons just by being my friends. They have made me grow more as adult.
The people I had to deal with in my life that were furthest from the true, were also in my life to make me learn about myself. As much as I don’t want to admit it, they were a helpful part of my story that shaped me into the person that I am today.
I firmly believe that some people are meant to be in your life for a short period of time, a long period of time, or as long as they need to be to make that change in your life. To affect your life so you can learn lessons or remember memories for decades to come. The people you want to stay in your life forever may leave or drift apart from the norm of your world. But just remember that they were and always will be, in some way, the truest of all.
Resources for Mental Health help:
- Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255