Written by anonymous.
Throughout my life I always told myself I would never try or be peer pressured into using any type of drug or alcohol. My story began when I met an ex of mine. I was super head over heels. In that moment I would have done just about anything for that person. Shortly after, I got pregnant and became involved in a domestic violence relationship. As hard as it is to share my story, I believe anything is possible.
The relationship and abuse got so bad, the only way of us getting along was to smoke wax which is worse than marijuana. I felt like it mellowed his mood out. In my case it made me feel numb and spaced out. I honestly wanted just to feel numb to all the pain I was feeling and not see reality for what it was. I started depending on the wax because being spaced out would take away the physical and mental abuse I was going through.
One day I did so much wax, I felt myself starting to faint and couldn’t catch my breath. It was the scariest time for me. The last time I smoked wax, I couldn’t even function. I was a zombie and I knew if I kept going down this path, it would get worse for me.
The next day it hit me: I was numbing out all these feelings and I was deteriorating myself inside and out. My children were suffering because I was there physically but not mentally. This was not the life I wanted for me or my children. I stopped and I left the relationship. It was difficult, but one of the best decisions of my life.
I want to express this to every individual, that one time can lead to a lifetime of damage mentally and physically. I believe if I kept doing what I was doing I would have lost everything I worked so hard for. Using any type of drug leads to stronger drugs and you run out of money and start thinking what to do to just make money to get your need met. So, you’re not thinking rationally.
I share my story today to shed light on someone who knew nothing about drugs, was a well-known softball player, and just happened to enter the wrong relationship. My advice is don’t try anything to be cool or be pressured into doing something that isn’t worth your life. You can be the best version of yourself, and if you feel depressed or your emotions are all over the place, you can get help the correct way.