Performing the ‘Reality Party’: A Tool for Parents of Party-ers

The “reality party” is an experience that shocks, educates, and demonstrates for parents what the reality is today in the teenage partying world. These reality parties are created by an organization called “Straight Up”, located in Ventura County. The home page states, “Many adults feel drinking and drug use is a rite of passage and think teen parties are the same as when they were young. Straight Up Youth wants parents to face the current realities and learn why and how we need adults to help change these dangerous social norms in Ventura County.”

This is how a reality party works: different teen actors are instructed to portray certain scenes that one could find in an actual house party. There are several different scenarios portrayed, some including alcohol, drugs, fighting, and sex. A group of parents then walks through the house led by a tour guide. Each is able to gain insight with regards to what actually occurs during a teen party. While the scenes take place, the participants are able to voice concerns that many teens and young adults actually have about what goes on.
After the half hour tour, the group of parents is led to a separate room where they are able to address a panel of reliable educated adults, including a police officer, a school counselor, a pediatrician specializing in unexpected deaths, and occasionally, an older teen with experience and knowledge about what actually happens at parties and among his or her peers.

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While his views are not necessarily the viewpoint of Straight Up, we are grateful for his honesty and openness about difficult subjects.

If you are struggling with alcohol or drugs, or have hopeless thoughts, please get help. 

• In Ventura County, call the Suicide Prevention Center Crisis Line at 877-727-4747 (24 hours a day, 7 days a week).

• For children, call Casa Pacifica Centers for Children and Families’ Crisis Line at 866-431-2478 (24 hours a day, 7 days a week).

• In the U.S., call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) to reach a trained counselor for free, confidential help, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

I am sitting here, thinking of ideas of something to write about, something meaningful. Writing about anti-drug work even though I don’t completely believe in all Straight Up says and is about. I sit here puffing on a E-cig, trying to think, A complete hypocrite of the organization I am making this blog for as I fill my lungs with water vapor, flavoring, and nicotine.

With the clock showing me the early hours of the morning I clear my head and think. Looking back to how the roots of addiction begin, why many teens and adults start this reckless behavior, how my past was. My friends and family, people I know who have suffered and succeeded because of drugs. My last few blogs (all anonymous) have said a lot of my feelings, talked about raves, anger, redeeming myself, but I down to only one real topic left that I haven’t covered.

Love, and all the things that go along with it, relationships, friends, family, parties, gangs, hobbies, addictions, sex, and all those things we humans crave and desire beyond the normal needs. I want to open up, and cover a little piece of what I went through that involved drugs — then love of something that made me leave most of my past behind, allowed me to move on.

I know some teens don’t get enough of something, they have a kind of void to fill, drugs and drinking are something that can occupy the thoughts and the mind. A way to pass the day away in a different state of mind. Some kids use it for medical reasons, while that group is small and that excuse is often exaggerated.

Many different reasons why people do such things, why they alter their bodies. It also changes people in certain ways, some bad, some neutral, and some good. Intoxicating yourself is a way to escape often times, as well as a way to celebrate. I think it’s often a love of experimenting and being in a different state of mind is why many young people desire to intoxicate themselves — an urge I used to commonly share with others, and still somewhat do. While I refuse to say it is all negative and no youth should ever smoke or drink, I know most kids who use drugs will often overuse and abuse their body by getting addicted, or by taking hard drugs. I also know people who I believe wouldn’t be alive with me today without illegal drugs, but that group also remains small. People who use drugs to cope when they don’t need it, they become reliant on it as something to get them through hard times. This is when problems can arise, depressed teens with little else to fall back on are very vulnerable to addiction and other risky behaviors, not everyone has the will power to hold back.

While I personally don’t believe I ever had a problem with drugs when I used them, I am approximately a year sober from intoxicating products. I had a weakness for drinking I realized this as I started to occasionally drink. My family has had trouble with alcohol for multiple generations and I knew this would be a problem if I drank on a regular basis. Smoking although I did not tend to enjoy nearly as much, but I was not afraid of getting addicted cause I did not enjoy smoking nearly as much as alcohol.

By the time I started getting slightly more reckless with my behavior and drug abuse, I got a major life change. I made some mistakes, and shortly after I experienced the whiplash of my mistakes. I got majorly depressed and slightly suicidal, I felt awful and my family just added to my guilt. I kept a small amount of vodka as well as some pills for if I wished to end it all, the combination of those two would give me the strength to go out and finish the job in one go. Give me the motivation to climb to the top of a building and say a final goodbye.

I kept these feelings to myself, I didn’t feel like whining. If I was going to take the cowards way out I wasn’t going to whine and complain about it. I knew my situation was poor, I didn’t really feel like I had much of a reason to carry on, I kept this all to myself. I talked to my best friend some, but as he was going through his lowest point in life after a dramatic breakup he didn’t tend to be much help.

But then, a girl I knew since middle school — we started talking a good amount. Things continued smoothly and we soon started dating, and soon with time we started going out.

She gave me a reason to carry on, not for me, but for her. I could never bear to hurt her, she ended up meaning the world to me, the sadness that I would put her through, as well as my family and friends, is something I could not bear to think about, so suicidal thoughts began to decrease. I stabilized out, I just wanted to make her happy, she helped save me, she is an amazing young lady and I love her. Gave me motivation to carry on through and not give up, it was the extra motivation I needed to get through a rough time.

We have had a stable relationship pretty much over the last 12 months, now as we approach our first anniversary things in my life have practically returned to normal. Kind of funny how time brought everything back to how it was pretty much a year ago. I think if we reach that low state of our life we need something or someone to bring us back up. Something or someone to care for, to dedicate ourselves to, live for something else, but if we attach ourselves to something dangerous and don’t break that connection, that is where things will go poorly. That is just something I learned personally, maybe it’s not the solution for all, but I am pretty sure it could help many others who have been and will be in situations like mine, and just need some help getting by.

Huffing is the act of sniffing chemicals (often sprayed into a bag) and inhaled. This may cause a reaction is similar to alcohol intoxication — drowsiness, lightheadedness, and a lack of inhibition.

More serious consequences can include permanent damage to the brain and other organs or even death. Sudden cardiac death from fatal cardiac arrhythmias has been reported even in teen inhalant abusers. Death from huffing can occur upon the first time of use or after prolonged inhalant abuse. Chronic use can result in permanent damage to the user’s heart, liver, kidney, lungs, or brain.

Where are they getting these inhalants? You’d be surprised — a youth may look no further than their kitchen cabinet, garage, or bathroom cabinet. Huffers use paint thinner and other solvents, gasoline, felt tip markers, aerosol sprays, or even computer dusting spray — which is the substance that killed 13-year-old Aria Doherty in March.

Chronic inhalant abuse may result in serious and sometimes irreversible damage to the user’s heart, liver, kidneys, lungs, and brain. Brain damage may result in personality changes, diminished cognitive functioning, memory impairment, and slurred speech. Further, inhalant users usually begin smoking, using alcohol, and using other drugs at younger ages and display a higher lifetime prevalence of substance-use disorders than those who do not use inhalants.

Huffing is more popular among younger tweens and teens. According to the 2010 National Survey on Drug Use and Health, there were 793,000 persons aged 12 or older who had used inhalants for the first time within the past 12 months; 68.4 percent were under the age of 18. In fact, inhalants — particularly volatile solvents, gases, and aerosols — are often the easiest and first options for abuse among young children who use drugs.

Katherine Kasmir, Straight Up’s Program Director, says “There are just too many ways out there for kids to hurt themselves. We need to work together to bring awareness and to talk to our kids, teachers and peers.”

Find out more and get resources about how to talk about it to your teen here:

• Inhalant Abuse – National Institute on Drug Abuse
• Facts About Inhalants and Huffing
• Inhalant abuse: Is your child at risk?
• Is Your Child or Teen Huffing?

Straight Up volunteers (from left): Raquel, Laura, Natalie, Matthew and Ryan.

We’re looking for Ventura County residents ages 12-25 to get involved, in creative and interesting ways, to raise awareness about alcohol/drug use and other destructive behaviors that are dangers to young people.

The possibilities are endless! This is a great way to interact with others, have fun, and do important community work. Here are only a few ideas…

• Like to be in front of the camera? Be in one of our photo or video projects, or participate in a Reality Party for Parents.
• Like the tech side of things? Projects include video production, social networking and web research. Don’t forget out entering our video contest!
• What about writing? We have a blog and we’re always looking for youth-written articles and essays.
• Want to be an expert? We offer training in how to be an effective spokesperson, media or policy advocate.
• Have ideas? If you have an idea for an awareness campaign, a class project, or a leadership collaboration, let us know — we’d love to help to bring it to reality!

Over 18? You can join our Be the DD and Win Prize Posse, a Designated Driver awareness campaign that brings fun, information and prizes to nightspots in Ventura, Thousand Oaks and Camarillo. Find out more about Be the DD

Community services hours available when you volunteer for Straight Up!

How Do I Get Involved?

If you haven’t already, register to be a volunteer for Straight Up by going to our survey form, and tell us your information, interests and availability. REGISTER NOW

If you’ve already registered and haven’t talked to us yet, contact us and we’ll get back to you asap!

Contact Straight Up
katherine@straightupvc.org
(805) 647-4622

Please read and TAKE ACTION to stop Leno’s 4am Bar Bill

Senator Mark Leno has introduced SB 635 to extend drinking hours in California from 2 a.m. to 4 a.m.

California already suffers $38.4 billion in alcohol-related harm every year, with 10,000 lives lost and hundreds of thousands of additional injuries. Two more hours of alcohol-driven profit for bar and restaurant owners will produce even more harm and loss.

In a report prepared for the California Council on Alcohol Policy by the Community Prevention Planning Program at UC Berkeley in 2004-2005, these points were highlighted:

• Extended hours for alcohol outlets are likely to increase amount of alcohol consumed and to increase alcohol-related problems including (emphasis ours)
  • violence
  • public drunkenness
  • drinking-driving arrests and crashes
  • youth access to alcohol
• Police costs and other community service costs will be greater under this proposal, such as
  • police services
  • emergency medical services
  • planning and zoning
  • streets and sanitation
  • California Alcoholic Beverage Control (ABC) services.

Please encourage your community to make your voices be heard!

Alcohol Justice’s Grassroots Action Center offers easy steps to write and submit a letter to Senator Leno on their website. Please consider submitting a letter and taking a stand!

[Sources: "Extended Hours of Sale" prepared by Friedner D. Wittman, Ph.D., Prevention by Design, Community Prevention Planning Program, Institute for the Study of Social Change, University of California, Berkeley ; Alcohol Justice]

Images of young people using smokeless tobacco products. Creative Commons license.

While teenagers across the nation have heard and embraced the “no smoking” message – smoking among teens has fallen more than 45 percent since 1997 – they don’t seem to equate the dangers of nicotine and other toxins with smokeless tobacco.

About 20 percent of teenage boys and 2 percent of teenage girls use smokeless tobacco, according to the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Read more on the Patriot-News (PA) website

What many people (including young people) don’t realize is that there is no safe form of tobacco. Chewing tobacco and snuff contain 28 cancer-causing agents, and can be more addictive than smoking.

More information and resources about smokeless tobacco:

• Kid’s Health
• National Cancer Institute
• U.S. National Library of Medicine

This story breaks my heart:

2 Ohio HS football players convicted of raping drunken girl; charges against others possible

Two members of Steubenville’s celebrated high school football team were found guilty Sunday of raping a drunken 16-year-old girl, and Ohio’s attorney general warned the case isn’t over, saying he is investigating whether coaches, parents and other students broke the law, too.

Trent Mays, 17, and Ma’Lik Richmond, 16, were sentenced to at least a year in juvenile prison in a case that has rocked this Rust Belt city of 18,000 and led to allegations of a cover-up to protect the Steubenville High team, which has won nine state championships. Mays was ordered to serve an additional year for photographing the underage girl naked.

They can be held until they turn 21.

Read more on the Washington Post website

I am sad for all involved, including the two young men and their families. And I hurt for the young people in our community as well. In my work with Straight Up, I have explored the issues of underage and binge drinking with thousands of teens and young adults and heard them express their concerns about these issues. Unfortunately, the party situation and behaviors in this story are brought up in almost every session and labeled as “fairly normal” and “somewhat socially acceptable” by teens and young adults in our Social Change Theatre workshops.

Young people, we’d like to hear your comments here about this article, and your opinions on alcohol use and partying. You can comment without using your name, and your email address will not be published with the comment.

Parents, when we talk to our children about alcohol, we also need to be talking to them about sex. And when we talk with our children about sex, we also need to be talking about alcohol. And most of us need to be doing both much earlier than we may believe or wish we would need to. Read the news article and take the opportunity to talk with the young people in your life. You may also want to consider attending or hosting a Reality Party for Parents to learn more about underage and binge drinking environments and today’s social norms.

And to all: let’s all get involved and make a difference together about underage and binge drinking, impaired driving, and drug use. If you’d like to contribute an essay or editorial to this blog, or to volunteer with us, let us know.

– Katherine

THINK BEFORE YOU DRINK Event, Ventura College

On March 6, VC Psychology Club hosted their yearly underage/binge drinking and impaired driving event. The day-long activities included speakers covering topics such as addiction and recovery, sexual addiction and alcohol use, law enforcement and more. The keynote speaker was Patrick Zarate of Ventura County Behavioral Health.

Between speakers, students and educators visited the resource tables, which represented a wide range of treatment and prevention providers in the County.

SAFE SPRING BREAK Event, Cal State Channel Islands

The week before CSUCI’s spring break, students attended three days of health and wellness events as a reminder to stay safe. On March 13, several organizations provided information, tables including Straight Up, Be the DD and Win, Planned Parenthood, Student Health and more.

Middle school students from small towns and rural communities who received any of three community-based prevention programs were less likely to abuse prescription medications in late adolescence and young adulthood. The research, published today in the American Journal of Public Health, was funded by the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA), theNational Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, and the National Institute of Mental Health, all components of the National Institutes of Health.

•  See the article on DrugAbuse.org.
• The study can be found at: ajph.aphapublications.org/toc/ajph/0/0.
• For information on prescription drug abuse, go to:http://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/drugfacts/prescription-over-counter-medications.

Many thanks to the Thousand Oaks Acorn for writing this article about our recent Reality Parties for Parents.

Drugs. Sex. Booze.

They’re all commonplace at your average high school “rager,” say members of Straight Up Ventura County.

Immaturity, risk-taking and excessiveness have long been a part of the teenage party scene, but do parents really know what their child could be getting into when out with friends on a weekend night?

Straight Up, a youth advocacy group that works to curb teen alcohol and drug use, will host a series of “reality” parties over the next six weeks intended to show parents what goes on at today’s teenage bash.

READ MORE ON THE TO ACORN WEBSITE